“She Who Fell into the River” went with the flow, which is not to say that it was easy or is easy.
Adyashanti sets out the dynamics this way:
Many people really see themselves as “the one who has struggled”… Others struggle to hold onto a more positive, fixed identity as a good, successful, or spiritual person. However, most people cling to both negative and positive self-images… [T]he reason that you struggle is in order to maintain a sense of separate self, a self which is ultimately a defense mechanism against the revelation that no separate self actually exists. As soon as you stop struggling, you lose the boundaries…with nothing to oppose, the false sense of self evaporates into nothingness, into the Unknown… Your identity is cut loose from all that is familiar and known and you find yourself floating in a vast expanse with nothing to grab hold of. This groundless expanse is the foretaste of liberation, but few choose to remain in this unknown territory…
Faced with a freedom that is absolute, a freedom that leaves no room for separation from the whole, most people will compulsively contract back into a condition of struggle where they can maintain a familiar sense of self. …
It is only when you desire to be free more than you desire the security of the familiar sense of self that you spontaneously move into a freedom that is final and beyond struggle….
This is not the liberation that most people envision when they start out… most people envision a freedom that they can attain and possess. So many who glimpse the enlightened condition tell me that is so much bigger than they ever could have imagined. [When you] realize that freedom [it] is not something that you possess, but something that possess you…
To have a glimpse of this profound freedom requires very little, but to live it requires the destruction of every concept of self you ever held or will ever hold. This freedom is a flame that burns the need to struggle to ash and reveals one’s Self to be all that is.
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A scientist's attempt to understand her experiences in four decades of meditation.
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About Me
- Pat Bralley
- I spent over 25 years doing science: molecular genetics, PhD level lab work, publishing results. I’ve spent over 50 years meditating: walking the mystical, mythical paths, another form of research. I worked hard to call myself “scientist.” My friends tend to call me an “artist.” Oh, well. “Seeing for Myself” reflects both these paths of exploration. As scientist I want to see things for myself. As mystic I never forget the search for my true Self. Putting my discoveries into both art and essays clarifies my understanding. I hope others might also find something of benefit here.
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