The mind hurls itself
into sacred questions.
But Silence remains
unmoved by the tantrums.
She asks only for nothing.
But you won’t give it to Her
because it is the last coin
in your pocket.
And you would rather
give her your demands than
your sacred and empty hands.
Adyashanti, in Emptiness Dancing.
I have been having tantrums quietly in the privacy of my own home.
To wit, tip of the iceberg: This Blog has not gone as planned.
When I began I thought that I’d be sharing some of the lessons I’d learned from my fairly intense, somewhat unique, and multi-decade experiences with meditation. This background, coupled with the fact that I’m a scientist by trade, training, and inclination, made me think that I was special and had something useful to offer.
Well, thank you.
It took awhile but what has become clear is that I simply have my own brand of ignorance and arrogance. (Ignorance and Arrogance: I should write a story about how the two met at a tea I hosted and they immediately lock-stepped into a tango… another time perhaps.)
As I was saying, I suppose we all bottle our ignorance in a somewhat unique yet generally universal form. But create a Blog in its honor?! The nerve!
Yeah. Yeah! I know, that’s called “branding.”
Oh, God! The ignorance rolls out non-stop it seems. P. Bralley taking up with “branding.” Does that mean I am finally in advertising!! Geeze.
I keep discovering the wabanga I have stepped in.
(Well, discovery is good. Wabanga is bad, said the Non-dualist.)
Anyway, today in the bathtub, it occurred to me that the byline under “Seeing for My Self” shouldn’t be “a scientist’s blah, blah ….,” but rather, “A Commentary on My Authentic Ignorance.”
What is Authentic Ignorance? It is the dribble from one whom:
1) Isn’t enlightened, yet dares to opine on the subject.
2) Knows full well that her troubles all stem from stories the ego spins out, yet continues spinning.
3) Then, upon seeing her own partaking of #1 and #2 proceeds to self flagellation with snappy little plastic bats… bang, bang, bang upon the head.
4) And finally, fully complicit in all of the above, spontaneously collapses into the laughter of self recognition and is lifted momentarily by a little wave of love.
I was pleased with this outline. Then I realized others call it “living the full catastrophe.”
OK- the Full Catastrophe, Authentic Ignorance.
That’s all I have to offer.
And thank you, Kalibhakta. I do enjoy this…
and promise to attempt to confine such catharsis in the future to my bathtub.
PS. Take a moment to click on the picture offered here. There’s a good commentary.