Shamanic Happenings

Wisp, Karen Cleveland

Wisp is a forest that requests a reconsideration of the human relationship to nature and… threads the supernatural through the everyday.

Karen Cleveland

Last night I went to see my friend, Karen’s, exhibition for her MFA. It astounded me. She had created a forest that she then invited you to enter. You could hear the wind, as well as tree frogs. Within a stump you discovered a gently throbbing light. You bumped onto branches and webs of lace. You stood before a tree, the bark bursting into a dozen pieces, even as it defined an internal space of emptiness. It was stitched together with threads of gold and red and buffalo gut.

But what moved me most was the painting of Leaf Gather.
Here was the benevolent cousin to a beast I had met just the previous night.
I had pulled him out of Evie as we did “energetic bodywork.”
He was a seven foot tall roaring, red-eyed, fanged embodiment of her disease: a tangle of grief and fear and rage, as well as chemicals and cancer.
I hadn’t expected to pull him out. But there he was.
I was stunned to then see his sweet cousin in Karen’s painting.
But, there he was.

Leaf Gather, Karen Cleveland

No one told me when I started my Taoist practice that it was actually shamanic.
They only spoke of energy.
Well, surprise. Energy can take on consciousness and form.
Think of humans. Think of devas. Think of the internal beasts that haunt us.

For awhile, back in the 70’s after I had my first shift in consciousness, I could see what I called angels. There was a “devotion angel” floating near the ceiling of the cathedral I attended. There was a “birth angel” cradling my sister-in-law as she gave birth to Evie’s brother.

At the time, I had no conceptual framework for such perceptions and thus adopted what I read in the Findhorn Garden:

By the springtime of our second year at Findhorn, the Landscape Angel told us that our garden was becoming more unitied and whole, and that as this took place, an angelic being, a sort of guardian angel for our area, was forming.
I believe that any unit, whether it be a farm or a community, a couple or a nation, has an overlighting presence that in some way embodies the various levels of energy used within that unit.
The Angel of Findhorn is a composite being, “born” from the substance of our thoughts and ideals, the radiations of the land, and the energies of the higher selves of not only humans working on the land but of all the animals and plants there…
Dorothy Maclean, The Findhorn Garden

This compositeness is shown so well in Karen’s image.
And just as angels can be born, so can beasts.
These dark cousins can arise from the energy of our thoughts and fears of disease, the drugs used to combat and kill, and the energy of cells that run amok.

Now, a strict non-dual stance might argue, “All that is vacuous and empty. See that!”
But, practically and usually, what we first notice is the physical.
And if we’re lucky, we can see a bit more subtly into the level of energy.
So lets start there.

And guess what? It all works out.
After I pulled the beast from Eve, it was really obvious that he/it then filled my body.
I stood and took a bow, asking of my Teacher, Wong Loh Sin See, “Please Teacher help this to leave my body.”
Spontaneously, I started whirling qigong style, roaring with the beast’s roar. And after a minute or so I noticed that the beast had broken into packets, leaves, of energy.
That’s when the words of Scott Kiloby came to mind.
And the rest was just like this:

What’s happening in the body? …
Let the pure raw emotion just fill your body, just fill the space of awareness.
Let it just absolutely overwhelm you, the feeling itself without any label on it so it’s not fear overwhelming you.
It’s the pure energy, the vibration filling up the air, filling up the space of the body. And there’s no desire for it to go away. We’re not even witnessing it…without any label… the emotion has nowhere to go but to simply dissipate or change itself into awareness.
Kilobit, Painful Emotions ~ minutes 3:45 – 7:30 (scroll down page)

Curiously, and of course, this sounds to me simply the reverse of the process of creation that Dorothy Maclean explained.

Exsanguinate

Karen Cleveland: Red Boat 2
Originally uploaded by Seeking Tao

By feeling the subtle flow of air in and out of the body as well as the rise and fall of your chest and abdomen, you are becoming aware of the inner body. Your attention may then shift from the breath to that felt aliveness within you, diffused throughout your body… To be unable to feel the life that animates the physical body, the very life that you are, is the greatest deprivation that can happen to you…

Can you feel your body from within…?

Your inner body is not solid but spacious. It is not your physical form but the life that animates the physical… It is the intelligence that created and sustains the body, simultaneously coordinating hundreds of different functions of such extraordinary complexity that the human mind can only understand a tiny fraction of it… It is the elusive “life” that no scientists has ever found because the consciousness that is looking for it is it.
Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

I find that an Eckhart Tolle CD puts me right to sleep, in the best sense,
as I have had some insomnia of late.
Last night was so strange.
I drifted in and out of his teachings never sure just when I was asleep.
Still, this morning I was eager to find these words in A New Earth that so reminded me of the sky in Karen Cleveland’s paintings,
the sky filled with all the little bubbles and squiggles over the Red canoe and Red chair.
I keep coming back to these paintings: the sky, the water, the dripping, lolling silence.

I have been trying to understand their hold on me, which brings me to the Red.

I love the Red.
The color seems to Form the word that has been going round and round in me for days.
It is color as embodiment and the word is:
“Exsanguinate”
As in the sentence, “Most patients with aortic ruptures exsanguinate on scene,”
But, I only hear the word.
The sentence and emotion apparently choose to appear as non-linguistic image and body memory.

“Exsanguinate”
And I feel like spitting up and wiping at my mouth.
“Exsanguinate”
And I remember all those years of meditation in which blood seemed smeared across my face – just some memory, some flashback... a bit old pain-body?

“Exsanguinate”
Come here.
Tuesday, my cardiologist said that I would need another TEE in August.
They did one a month or so ago.
That’s how they found the aneurysm.

First, they have you open wide and gargle until everything is numb.
Inside your throat your tongue suddenly feels huge.
It seems to fill everything, this huge muscle, blocking off your breath.
I focused hard on staying calm – “don’t panic!”
and then, anesthesia injected in a vein somewhere takes that Will away.

I became an animal simply laying there,
this probe shoved down my throat,
groaning,
writhing when a torque of the wand causes the pain to spike…
I heard some words, “There, the aorta…”

Then much later,
“Ms. Bralley, do you remember the procedure? … You have an aneurysm of the ascending aorta. You’ll probably be having this test again.”

“Exsanguinate.”
The word started in my head a while later.
So did the insomnia.
So did the pleasure at seeing bright Reds:
the kitchen towel in the sun, the Red chair, the Red canoe.

When you are no longer totally identified with forms, consciousness- who you are- becomes freed from its imprisonment in form. This freedom…comes as a stillness, a subtle deep peace within, even in the face of something seemingly bad… This too will pass. Suddenly, there is space around the event…and from that space emanates a peace that is not “of this world,” because this world is form, and the peace is space. This is the peace of God.
Eckhart Tolle

These are the words I opened to this morning, as I meant to find the ones describing sky.
These are the words that I found instead, the words that brought searching to an end.
I lay down into the Red canoe and all was well.

Exsanguinate, freed from imprisonment.

What I Do

Karen Cleveland: Sitting
Originally uploaded by Seeking Tao

My friends never understand what it is I do all day in the lab.
So, I thought I’d tell you.
Last week I started a project to clone three genes, the first step being an amplification of DNA (specifically, the genes) via a technique known as “PCR.”

PCR was invented by a wild man, Kary Mullis.
(you must check out this guy, his reading list and autobiography!)
For his efforts he won a Nobel Prize. But now, PCR is basic molecular biology.
And last week I could not get my PCR to work.

I went home Friday evening pretty frustrated and Monday morning found me pouring over technical literature to formulate a plan.
I also did an online search which totally distracted me with laughter.
I have cut and pasted the online chatter down below.
I find these unknown colleagues both heart warming and a perfect reflection.

This is What I Do.
This is Science as I have come to understand its practice in molecular genetics.
Ninety-percent of what we try to do fails.
We follow the best logic we can muster…
and in the end often conclude, “it was my lucky red t-shirt,” - i.e. we do not know.

Perhaps, that’s why I love this painting I post here of the red chair, by Karen Cleveland.
Karen paints with her energy and intuition and her work to me embodies consciousness.
Science that works has this same wild artfulness.

The sky around that Red Chair could be the stuff percolating in my PCR.

And now, my virtual colleagues, and their artfulness which runs like this...

Posted by: vetticus
Hi,
I've said this before, but, basically, i've been using a PCR reaction with Pfu on genomic DNA, and until very recently, it's worked really well. last few weeks, the reaction flopped majorly. Other researchers in our lab have used the Pfu also, unsuccessfully.
So, we got a new batch out of our freezer, it too didn't work.
Changed the water... didn't work.
Fresh dNTP... didn't work.
Fresh primers... didn't work.
Changed the PCR machine from my floor to the one upstairs... didn't work.
swore... didn't work.
changed from Pfu to another proofreader with it's very own buffer and with assurances that this PCR would work... didn't work
(though did get some lovely primer dimers)....

I was wondering... and was hoping someone could confirm this.... the only thing that has remained constant is my supply of DMSO (5%). could this be the thorn that screwing me around?
(as i write this, i'm running a PCR with a fresh batch of DMSO)

can DMSO go bad?

hoping desperately that this reaction works.
supposing this reaction doesn't work, and i manage not to throw myself off a building, is there anything else i can try?
this reaction has worked for months, and now is not.

vetticus

PS
fresh DMSO... didn't work. i don't get it. I got this reaction to work. One day it's fine... next it's stuffed. Which molecular biology god should i make a sacrifice to?

Posted by: Bob
Hi,
I am fairly sure that DMSO degrades slowly in the presence of water, it could be that the
5% solution you are using is degraded and seeing your last comment, it could be that the new stock is also degraded if stored as 5%.
Just a thought- try fresh DNA, if possible, it is barely likely but it could be the factor as it seems to be the only one not changed.
Otherwise I am flummoxed!
Good luck
Bob

Posted by: vetticus
apparently DMSO degrades if exposed to sunlight... ahhhh.
still doesn't help me out (but useful for anyone else out there). Don’t store it at 5%, that's the percentage of final volume...
my head hurts.
trying fresh DNA... will probably have result in ~30 min.
thinking about it all day... the only other variable that has changed is that the other lab swiped our radio and is playing pop rock instead of our usual indy/alternative.
i don't know.
perhaps i should stand on one leg whist preparing the reaction.

Post by: nabla
“the only other variable that has changed is that the other lab swiped our radio and is playing pop rock instead of our usual indy/alternative.” That is a quiet good reason according to my opinion!

Posted by: littlecell
there must have been something wrong with your DNA template.
please store the template at 4 centigrade but not freeze them.
good luck!

Posted by: vetticus
It works... it works.... it works... little dance little dance.... it works...
what happened... i offered a blood sacrifice to one of the more fickle gods of molecular biology (ok, maybe not, but the idea did cross my mind)...
seriously, i have no idea what happened.
it just stopped working, but it works now...little dance little dance.
wearing my lucky red t-shirt must have pushed it over the line.
the DNA's fine, the primers are fine, the magnesium content is fine, the water is fine, the machine is fine.... little dance little dance little dance.

what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger.
can finally breath normally again.

Posted by: robyn
Hi guys,
I am having the same problem!
2 months ago It worked OK.
A colleague suggested that it would work better at Ta=67. I tried that - it worked beautifully!!!
Now, suddenly at Ta=67 there is nothing!
I know what you're thinking… Not so.
I tested it again at 67 - no luck.
Tested it with new primers and new dNTPs and new water - no luck.
Decided to play around with the temperature - tried 65 (so-so), 68 (nothing), 62 (so-so)…
Any help will be greatly appreciated as I don’t have any more hair left to pull out!!

Posted by: perneseblue

"what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger.”
Except a horrible disfiguring accident that leaves you paralyzed for life
And what was it, finally? The DMSO?

P. Bralley (not posted there but here)…
I decreased my DNA and enzyme, increased the magnesium, dropped the DMSO completely.
It worked! …“little dance little dance”