Retreat with Adya

Omega next morning
Originally uploaded by Seeking Tao

Saturday morning, 7:30, but it feels like a Sunday.
Pulled the car into my driveway at 4:40 a.m.
Bennie was at the window peaking out.
I left Omega at 1:15 yesterday afternoon. So let’s see, that’s 15 and a half hours to make it home from New York.
I would have preferred a quicker trip. Bumped into one Omega-ite around 10:45 last night in line at the last place selling food in LaGuardia. We smiled at one another wide-eyed. This is an awful reentry! Or was it? I found it curiously interesting, marvelously interesting to observe… everything going on in New York, Penn Station… Manhattan waiting for a bus without a clue as to the routine.

I don’t regret it.
I would have preferred a direct connection, less weather up and down the East Coast.
I got something better.

Laid my head to rest upon my own bed’s pillow at 5:30 a.m.
Awoke at 6:30 feeling quite like sobbing.
I have no idea what to do now.
I so miss the routine of the last six days…
And what is it exactly that I miss? Again, so many images…

I am sobbing silently for the Silence that permeated it all. I am longing for the sharing of that Silence with 300 people I’d never met, but whom I’d never call a stranger.

I had resolved to not make notes while on retreat. Writing required way too much focus on my part. It’d be easier to let it go.
No matter what – just let it go.

But… resolution, let that go too.
And some words did make it onto paper.
They don’t seem at all to truly represent the whole story, or even close to a “fair” story.
Maybe they’re just the start of a new story and the end of an old story.

Sunday morning, 8:07, beautifully overcast, quiet.
OH! It’s Saturday… (Thank God!)