Monday, January 15, 2007

Strange Thought Number Two

Originally uploaded by karto#.

Then a couple days ago at work I was wandering through the building connected to our own. I was trying to track down some guy whom I had never met and who’s name I couldn’t pronounce. I was being forwarded from person to person, lab to lab, in something of a wild goose chase. Finally I’d found him, concluded my business, and started back through the labyrinth of hallways and labs, when I came upon another woman. Even from a distance I could see that she was lost and going to ask for help. She was obviously lost, and just as obviously I knew I wouldn’t have her answer. But, here we go. Let's play it out. I was already grinning at her when she met my eye.

“Where’s the ladies room?” she asked.

I had no idea. Except I did know of one way the heck down this hall and over the bridge and… I was still explaining when she interrupted.

“Oh, here it is.”

“Or, you could use this one.” I was still smiling inside as I walked on, now examining how the room numbers were on these plates that stuck out into the corridor. I was just walking along really noticing how they’d built the building, when I had the next strange thought.

It wasn’t really a “thought.” It was more a tactile experience and vision, a direct perception of my internal state. “Something” not quite immaterial came up from my belly buzzed around my brain and then exited from my forehead. Outside of me this flow of “something” became the very building I was examining.

I thought, “This is all my own creation.”

And by “This” I meant not only the building but also my body and the whole Big Bang Shebang. I also felt how very tenuous this act of creating all Creation was. I could feel the effort incurred in the “bringing forth.” While not really that big a push, it still required energy. And have I ever mentioned how basically lazy that I am? I can't see doing this forever.

But then my next thought was, “Ohhh! That’s how God did it in the beginning.”

And then I thought, “Uh oh!”

The implications in the whole gestalt were too big headed. I didn’t feel like going there.

I took another tack. “Of course! That's what you think you see, because that’s what your brain does. It creates what you experience.” I am just me, aware of the tweeking that it takes to have your senses function. And I got to wondering if "enlightened vision" consists (in part?) of being able to see deeply into what your nervous system does.